The Gift of Annoyance
I was scouting around on Amazon this morning looking for toys for holiday gifts and came across this gem--a $374.00 (originally $699) Kid Trax Red Fire Engine Electric Ride-On
for two to five-year-year-olds that was described as follows:
How much must you hate the parents of the kid that you give this to? I can't imagine how annoying and loud this thing must be. Nothing like a loud megaphone, flashing lights and a working fire hose to bring tranquility to the house.
What is the most annoying gift you have ever received for yourself or your kids? What happened to it?
for two to five-year-year-olds that was described as follows:Little ones can rush to the rescue on this electric ride-on fire truck by Kid Trax. Flashing emergency lights, a working fire hose, and lighted dashboard make each ride thrilling for youngsters ages three and up. The two-speed transmission has speeds at 2.5 mph and 5.0 mph, with reverse at 2.5 mph. Forward and reverse motion is controlled by a clutch located at the bottom of the seat. Parental control ensures safety as the child drives this ride-on.
A working megaphone allows the toddler to call out to victims and the little hero can then put out the blaze with the 1-liter capacity super-spray hose. Fire truck gauges, sturdy grab bars, and pre-applied graphics add to the fun.
How much must you hate the parents of the kid that you give this to? I can't imagine how annoying and loud this thing must be. Nothing like a loud megaphone, flashing lights and a working fire hose to bring tranquility to the house.
What is the most annoying gift you have ever received for yourself or your kids? What happened to it?
posted by Helen at 8:46 AM
46 Comments:
My mother in law bought a fire engine - not a ride-on one but a loud obnoxious one all the same. We told her it was a shame the boys didn't have enough toys at her house for visits and left it there. I have to give her credit - she's left it in the corner of her bedroom all these years, and they do get it out almost every time they visit.
Tari,
That's a great idea. It will give Grandma some bonding time with the kids.
I gave my niece's kids two stuffed animal/monster things last year that make a rather embarrassing sound when squeezed. I couldn't help it. She's so self righteous, and her husband is so pompous about not ever letting their five and six year olds actually be kids. They're the kind of parents who send a note to the school teacher informing her that their kids have never chewed gum before and will need additional supervision during the Halloween season if candy and gum are shared by the other kids.
The look on my niece and her husband's faces was priceless when their kids were running around the house and falling on the toys, making them make the embarrassing noise all through Christmas dinner.
I know it was horrible of me, but it was one of the best parts of my Christmas last year.
An electronic phonics toy shaped like a school bus. Not only was it annoying, the sound was terrible so it was not a good way to learn letter sounds.
We put some tape over the speaker to quiet it down a bit and then eventually just made it disappear.
One year we bought our kids a play kitchen that had buttons to press to make noises, like water running or the stove sizzling. How dumb. We never put batteries in the thing, and the kids made their own noises. At one point we visited someone who had the same kitchen. The mom complained about the noises and thought I was a genius for thinking not to put batteries in ours. My daughter found the whole episode amusing and did not ask for batteries when we got home.
As I was reading the description I was thinking that it sounded like fun :-)
Even so, it depends on how loud loud is ;-)
My BIL and DH got into an annoying toy war while we were living overseas. It started with BIL sending our kids a xylophone pull toy, so we sent his kids a musical set which included cymbals. It finally ended when we sent his kids a toy that A) wouldn't turn off and B) was in German so no one really understood it. Rock and Roll Ernie in German. The kids of course loved it, the parents were annoyed.
I think part of the fun of being an aunt is getting the nieces and nephews the stuff that you would not buy for your own kids.
I think that the Kid Trax Red Fire Engine Electric Ride-On is the perfect gift to a child whose mother sends her husband to the doghouse for not buying her J.C. Penney jewelry.
RE Toy wars:
The ultimate in that is a drum set, but I must admit the bast gag one was we took one of those small annoying firetrucks Tari mentions, and we riged it (a little electronics) that it could NOT be turned off once on, and glued the battery compartment shut, and then gave it to a friends kid for Christmas. The father was like "OK, you got me back, now how do you turn it off", I told him you can't
Dr. Helen:
I'm glad to hear that you and Glen are in Grand Cayman. A late fall trip to the Caribbean is a great prevention against SAD. My wife and I just returned from Bequia (Grenadines) and I'm feeling great.
Good luck with the mosquitoes.
Male Samizdat,
Ahh, the passive-aggressive approach. Genius!
I'm a life-long childless bachelor, so I don't have any terrible stories about receiving these gifts. I'm also an uncle, so I've been known to threaten (jokingly) to give them. Among the great gifts from uncles are the already-mentioned drum set, an archery set, a chemistry set, a bull-whip, and a bb gun.
As has been mentioned, the drum kit is the gold standard. But Lone Chatelaine's solution rocked too. :-)
My godfather bought me a drum set when I was three years old. About a year later, we moved to a new house and the drums never finished the trip. Wonder why?
When my niece was little, I bought her a doll and handmade some clothes for the doll. My sister-in-law, ever so obliquely, went on and on how about how her daughter didn't really enjoy regular old toys, especially girly toys, because she was soooo creative and artistic. So I went out and bought my niece a huge box of 75 fingerpaints. I figured she could be creative and artistic all over my sister-in-law's walls.
And to think that when I was a kid, we were content with Lincoln Logs and Leggos.
But my favorite toy was the Secret Sam spy kit. It came with a gun that shot red plastic bullets, and came with a stock and muzzle extension to convert into a rifle, a periscope for peering around corners, a camera that actually clicked, and a plastic knife. All conveniently packed into a nifty black plastic carrying case (there were buttons so you could shoot the gun, or take a picture, or get the knife from the briefcase).
I took it to kindergarten, looking all the young professional in my school uniform with my black briefcase. Little did they know that I was spying on everyone from behind every corner with my periscope. I was Secret Sam.
It was fun for a couple of weeks, until this one fat kid came up and demanded to see what was in my briefcase. I shot him. And he went screaming and crying to the principal.
She called me into the office and upon opening my spy kit, I went from young professionial to domestic terrorist. She called my parents, and I was suspended for a week. But my father said he was proud of me.
Go figure.
When I was five or so, my mother's sister sent me a wonderful, messy toy called Silly Sand -- colored sand you were supposed to mix with water and extrude through a squeeze bottle to make things. I remember having a lot of fun with it, although parental intervention was needed to make it work. And the sand went everywhere.
Whenever the topic came up, my mother would say, "Oh, my sister sent him that. Bless her heart!" It took me a while to catch on to the sarcasm.
Um, who spends nearly $400 on a toy for a five-year-old?
I'm with GawainsGost, although at our house it was Legos and Playskool blocks.
...And the Major Matt Mason stuff. Very cool for a 10-year-old, back in the day.
Looking at this in a different way, the most annoying (to me) gift my son ever received was a book when he was 1 year old. The book was a children's book about girls growing up to be doctors, firefighters, lawyers, etc.
When I confronted the woman who gave it to him that it wasn't a book for boys she responded that he needed to know girls can grow up to be the same things as girls. Yep, feminist nagging and indocrtination at the age of 1.
I want one!
P.S. - casey's right: Major Matt Mason RULED!
Speaking of trains...about 30 years ago, my (former) mother-in-law gave our oldest daughter JB (then about 4) a large (maybe 12" high, 18" long) toy train engine that would travel in circles and play the first few measures of various kids' songs -- you could put in different plastic disks to change the songs. The train used these shrill and slightly off-key whistles to play the songs.
JB would play with this train for long periods at a stretch. I'm not sure what was worse: the jangling mis-harmonics of the whistles, or the fact that many of the songs would never resolve (imagine hearing the first three lines of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" over and over again).
Eventually, the batteries wore down. When JB wanted to know why her train no longer worked, I shamelessly lied and told her that the train must have broken somehow. We quietly set it aside and never put batteries back in it again. ..bruce..
funny topic and discussion Dr. H.
i was laughing while reading your post and considering the havoc that the new dart gun that nerf manufactured could bring to our house. this new weapon of destruction is fully automatic and fires like 25 darts from a clip. i can picture our cat walking up the stairs or one of our toddlers watching tv and being sprayed with flying darts during an ambush by our energetic second grader (unfortunately our dog passed away or she might have enjoyed chasing him after being shot).
yea for loud and annoying toys!
Definitely a 'grandparent's revenge' gift. I love giving those. :)
new dart gun that nerf
My 11 year old really wants this. He has other nerf weapons. I would take these over musical or talking toys any day!
I don't have any kids, but one Christmas my aunt and uncle gave my brothers and me a Pops-a-Ball. You roll a ball up a ramp and into a hole, and the ball shoots back to you. We figured out that you could use it like a mortar and shot all the ornaments off the tree. When they had kids, they all got drums and slide whistles.
why not get a drum set?
Ugh. My father-in-law bought my daughter a drum set when she turned 13. That alone was bad enough, but my 2-year old son constantly wanted to hear the crash of the cymbals. He actually got out of bed in the middle of the night once to do it. Nothing like waking up at 3:45 in the morning to the sound of a loud crash in your house.
Besides the drum set, I'd have to say the most annoying present was a Sesame Street guitar shaped toy that featured the screeching of Elmo. It lasted about three hours before the batteries mysteriously disappeared forever.
When my son was five years old, a neighbor gave him a yellow plastic helmet with a flashing red light on top accompanied by sound effects with sirens, screeching brakes, etc.
Honestly, I didn't see it in the driveway backing my car out.
Here's another one from an uncle. My brother gave my then 5 yr old son a toy hand held circular saw that had super realistic sound. The plastic blade was painted like real metal and when you slid it across something the blade went inside the body of the saw so that it looked like it was cutting through. He "cut" through my oil painting pallet then the windowsill, wall, and several other things in the room. Looked like a really crazy crime scene with all that crimson oil paint everywhere. But real blood would have been easier to clean up.
You guys are no fun. I buy these toys for my son. Drums, nerf guns, A BB gun(only supervised, but we set up a range in the hallway) toy power tools. We started buying these things mostly as a preemptive strike, his mother and I both have older siblings and we started late. We were cool aunts and uncles and got those toys nieces and nephews.
Well Vinnie, I thought it was great fun until the oil paint episode. And the bullwhip another brother gave the same son was fun until he mowed down all the hanging ferns with it. (But he is a teacher now LOL)
Actually, this Kid Trax Red Fire Engine is really great!
I told my daughter and her husband that I was going to buy one for their six year-old son -- my grandson -- for Christmas unless they took me out to dinner.
I'll be having Chateaubriand tomorrow evening. How about you?
Mickey Mouse riding a tricycle and hitting a pair of cymbals as he rides. Great aunt thought it was a great idea.
Mickey's hands were cut off with wire cutters as they were leaving the driveway it was that noisy.
We also have the phonics bus from hell and my kids use it to break me down pushing one letter over and over......
Great to know that.Well advanced Happy Christmas and new year eve wishes to all of you.
Gifts to India
Heh, when my sister's first child was just over one, she decided she wanted him to have a chance to develop musical talent, and thought a drum would be appropriate. While my sister and I had our usual sibling squabbles, nothing in our past requires so dire a revenge as a drum for her child. Nonetheless, she, my brother in law, and I went to a music store and picked out a drum as my nephew's Christmas present from me.
I seem to remember an old(probably fake)proverb that went something like this: If you hate your neighbor give his child a drum.
Teddy Ruxpin.
In closet after an hour, later in trash.
Just thought of another one: In the late 90s, one could buy a talking Barney the Dinosaur doll. Squeeze his hand (paw?), and he'd sing a song. Apparently, it contained audio sensors that allowed it to interact with children to a certain extent.
So I went off and bought one of the danged things, took it home, put in the batteries, and set it down in front of my then-toddler daughter.
The result? Scared the hell out of her.
The Furby. I hated that little bastidge. As with many other annoying toys, we let the batteries run out and never replaced them. I think it's currently buried in one of the toy boxes.
OTOH, I was tickled pink to see some folks mention Major Matt Mason. Those were the COOLEST toys...smaller than G.I. Joe, but big enough to inspire junior space explorers everywhere. The space stations and vehicles were awesome.
And at the ripe old age of 46, I will STILL play with Lincoln Logs if given the opportunity.
The Furby! Aaahh.
Legos are one of the greatest toys ever invented.
(Problem with Lincoln logs is after you build the cabin, then what? Another cabin? Same problem with the Lego kit for a small house--the parts are pretty much restricted to building, well, the same house over and over.)
Problem with Lincoln logs is after you build the cabin, then what?
Then you build some Lego houses and make a settlement, and then populate it with your Playmobil figures. Or build two forts and have a war. Eventually the entire living room floor is taken over. When things start getting knocked over and you're tired of fighting, you call it "Roman ruins" and let it sit till your mother makes you clean it all up, and with all the components in the proper bins, buddy.
I think the worst toy was a board book with sound. It was a story about a rooster going around the barnyard telling all the animals that he had a surprise in the barn, and at the end of the book all the animals went to see his surprise, the newly born chicks (which I liked because it tacitly sends the "good father" message). Only problem, when you turn the last page, it makes the loudest goddamned crowing sound in the world, it crows for about 15 seconds, and shutting the book doesn't stop it. So my little girls were sitting there all nice and peaceful just before bed, sucking their thumbs and holding their stuffies, and JESUS H CHRIST WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT OHGODOHGODOHGOD. They both flattened themselves against me, and one tried crawling between me and the pillow (leaning against the wall). It was actually kind of adorable, and I really had to fight the urge to open the book again so they'd get more scared and cling to Dad some more.
It took a few weeks before they even wanted to be anywhere near the book. Now they love it.
Problem with Lincoln logs is after you build the cabin, then what?
Joe, buddy, use your imagination! The Lincoln log cabin becomes the headquarters of a primitive but peaceful society of Playmobil hunter-gatherers who are under constant threat from your plastic dinosaur collection. Major Matt Mason and his colleagues land on the planet and do battle with the dinosaur armies, wiping them out and saving the villagers from certain destruction. But triceratops, because he is your favorite, begs the astronauts for mercy and is brought into the village to help them rebuild, where he is put to work lifting logs with his horns and playing ring-toss with the children and some old Fruit Loops you found between the sofa cushions.
The possibilities are endless!!
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