Rachel Lucas: "Mamas, don’t let your sons watch HGTV. They’ll never get married." Read it, it's hilarious and all too true.
posted by Helen at 7:16 PM
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
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17 Comments:
HGTV is a special peeve of mine. This is sort of but I am hoping that our little economic downturn cures us of the affliction. Because real estate has increased in value faster than inflation there is nothing people like to do more than obsess about their residences. Instead of a reasonable 3 bedroom home on a small lot, people are plowing their savings into 6 bedroom McMansions.
We don't need all that space but we have convinced ourselves we must have it, and those ugly granite countertops as well. Hence, the invention of HGTV. We can now take instructions 24/7 on how to spend thousands of dollars decorating and upgrading our homes. Everyone is convinced they need a 60" plasma screen and a professional sound system in their home theater, not to be confused with the family room and the living room.
Why has this become an obsession? Helen in the psych expert, not me, but I have this gut feeling that if the entire family is in the house all the time then all the other members of the family know where everybody is at all times and this gives the family members comfort and power. If a family member leaves the giant home then there is loss of control over that family member.
I have many friends and acquaintances where 10 minutes after they leave their home their cell phone is almost sure to ring. It will be a family member wondering what they are doing and when they are coming back (and they better be coming back soon). The friend feels guilty for leaving and doesn't stay out for long.
This is the new America: Micromanaged, controlled and afraid of the great outdoors. HGTV is cable channel that is right for its time. I think I will go pick out a new tile for my bathroom.
I remember in college a certain professor telling us that it is the prey that determines the population of the predator. Hmmmm...
If there weren't so many sissified latte drinking wussy boys out there that were dominated by their mothers, I think these Bridezillas and hypermaterialized HGTV skanks would go the way of the dodo.
Not that I'm blaming the male population for the amount of horrific women out there, but without the prey, the predator tends to die out.
I would definitely blame the modern American mother for her revolting overindulgence and lack of character-building she exercises when raising daughters. If "the boy is the father of the man," I can easily believe that the girl is the mother of the woman.
Child-rearing has completely gone to hell in this country. And so, evidently, has television. Long ago.
That really is too funny, and pathetic too.
Cham, one of the things about the big houses is that everyone can get away from each other. Along with the home theater, each bedroom has room and wiring for tv, internet, etc. So though the whole family may be home, they are not necessarily all together, interacting as a family.
Of course I suppose then the parents can be proud that their kids are all safe at home, even though they have no clue what is going on in those bedrooms.
I would bet that most of the people that appear on HGTV don't have the kind of families that spend a lot of time together. But I actually have never watched it so that's just speculation on my part. Reading this hasn't made it any more attractive to me.
Marbel, all that is wrong with America can be seen on HGTV. About a week ago I stumble upon an HGTV show and I am only keeping half an eye on it. You have that obligatory California yuppie couple that has just bought a 3 bedroom rancher and they are remodeling their bathroom. The original bathroom isn't all that bad but they want a newer better bathroom. So they do the typical bath, shower, double sink, tile job, I'm not paying attention. The end result didn't look that different than the original bathroom. At the end of the show I hear, "Total cost of bathroom remodel: $80K". Unbelievable.
"Total cost of bathroom remodel: $80K".
Wow. Well, I have mixed feelings on this. I guess if people have that kind of money they can spend it how they wish. Home remodelers need to work too. Though I have to admit when I see stuff like that I think that people are getting way too greedy with their material desires.
But when we were looking for a house I said our family of 4 could not live with only one bathroom. We ended up with 2; a paltry number by most US house standards today. Still, surely that seems greedy to someone. In some places that is unimaginable luxury.
80K? A golden throne, perhaps?
I hate to vacuum, dust, mop, etc. Why would I want a 6,000 sq. ft. home?
OK, not perfect. A swimming pool is nice.
A reasonable distance from the next door neighbor's house is nice (via a good sized lot). A garage kept automobile lasts much longer than one left constantly in the weather. So a garage is nice, and does make sense.
A reasonable distance from the next door neighbor's house is nice (via a good sized lot).
Oh, yes! I'm with you. But a pool? See, that's greedy. :-) Use the neighborhood pool, man. (Kidding, but you knew that, right?)
We all have our standards. I don't get why a family of 4 needs 1,000 sq. ft. of living space per person, but... I guess some do.
Most people around here don't use their garage, even if they have one. Many houses have none at all; it's been converted into a family room or office. Or, it's full of tools and the car won't fit anyway. My Dad, who believed cars should never, ever, be left in the driveway, would be appalled.
Cham,
"...but I have this gut feeling that if the entire family is in the house all the time then all the other members of the family know where everybody is at all times and this gives the family members comfort and power. If a family member leaves the giant home then there is loss of control over that family member."
Actually, in some sense, I think it is the opposite. A bigger house gives people the sense that they are independent and have their own space but can still remain under one roof. As soon as people were able to afford it, they quit living with extended family, got their own spaces and expanded on it to keep harmony, in some sense. Too close quarters give you nowhere to go when you don't want to be around others or want some privacy.
I'll admit that I would like a bigger house, but that is because my wife and I both have expansive (and expensive) hobbies - scrapbooking, model railroading (my son is 4 and loves trains, so I'm building him a train table), etc. But, the whole HGTV channel just annoys me - it seems like a lot of superfluous improvements that add little to the quality of life, but a great deal to the $$ value some people place on a home.
Rachel is wrong; MAKE your sons watch HGTV! That way they'll do the smart thing; they'll remain single and keep their freedom... :)
Kevin M -- not that a celebrity data point of one says much, but Minnie Driver was on Kimmel recently. Very pregnant, saying she would not disclose the father because she wasn't sure the relationship would work out, and anyway, didn't need a husband because single motherhood was the rage and women did not need husbands (as opposed to occasional boyfriends).
Women, generally don't need husbands and don't want them very much. They have their own money, careers, can get pregnant and have kids if they want, without any messy compromises or domestic adjustments. Nannies and such even for middle class women are currently affordable.
Women determine the market, and most men probably have little choice but to settle for what they can get if they want to be married. Which is the HGTV type women. That's probably as good as it gets.
whiskey:
You're probably right, and I'm definitely depressed.
Men can say the very same thing Minnie driver says. And we can't get pregnant! Hoowah!
Women, generally don't need husbands and don't want them very much. They have their own money, careers, can get pregnant and have kids if they want, without any messy compromises or domestic adjustments. Nannies and such even for middle class women are currently affordable.
I think you're using the word "generally" a little too generally. I don't know any women in my everyday life who actively wants to raise a kid alone. I will admit that for rich celebrities, it is has become de rigeur... but they're all borderline narcissists anyway, so it's not really surprising.
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